What a 30-minute conversation with a stranger tells us

While conversation can be a powerful way to communicate, many people find it extremely nerve-wracking to suddenly talk to someone they've never met before. A joint research team from BetterUp Labs, the research division of BetterUp , a company that provides employee coaching services, the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania, and DrivenData.org conducted an experiment to find out what happens when you have a 30-minute conversation with a stranger.

30 minutes with a stranger
https://pudding.cool/2025/06/hello-stranger/

People living in modern society are accustomed to living and interacting with people of similar races and classes. Sociologist Robert Putnam calls this 'bonding social capital.' However, we lack relationships with people from different backgrounds, or 'bridging social capital.'

This trend is also associated with a decline in trust across society: For example, data shows that the percentage of Americans who believe 'most people can be trusted' has fallen from 47% in the early 1970s to 34% in recent years.

Given this background, it seems that many people have a strong resistance to talking to strangers. However, in a 2014 experiment conducted on trains and buses, participants predicted that when asked to talk to strangers, it would be an 'awkward and negative experience.' However, after the experiment, it was revealed that no one was rejected, the conversation was comfortable, and overall it was a very positive experience. This 'gap between prediction and reality' has been repeatedly confirmed in many other studies.

In this experiment, approximately 1,500 unacquainted volunteers were paired and asked to converse freely over 30 minutes of video calls. A massive amount of data, consisting of approximately 1,700 pairs of conversations, was collected to examine how people interacted and their emotional reactions. The participants ranged in age from teenagers to over 60s, and were of equal race, educational background, and political ideology.

Before the conversation began, most participants rated their mood as 'average,' with an average positive emotion rating of 6.1 on a 10-point scale. Surprisingly, immediately after the conversation began, many reported their mood was 'the same or even worse,' with the average rating remaining roughly the same at 6.2.

However, by the middle of the conversation, about 13 minutes into the conversation, the percentage of people reporting improved moods increased dramatically, with the average positive emotion score rising to 6.9. And by the end of the 30-minute conversation, the majority of participants reported feeling better than before the conversation began, with the average reaching 7.4. These results suggest that conversations with strangers, even if they start out awkward, have the power to significantly elicit positive emotions over time.

Furthermore, this positive effect was universally observed regardless of the person the conversation partner was. Analysis showed that the same increase in positive emotions was observed whether the age difference between the conversation partner and the person was less than 10 years or more than 40 years. Furthermore, conversations with people of different races resulted in almost the same positive experience as conversations with people of the same race. Furthermore, even when talking with people with 'completely different' political views, participants reported an increased sense of happiness at the end of the conversation, just like when talking with people with 'same' views.

The conversation covered a wide range of topics, sometimes even touching on personal and intimate topics, such as his experiences as a former chef and a discussion that developed from differences in views on COVID-19 to issues surrounding elderly care.

The research team concluded that interacting with strangers not only improves personal well-being, but also has broader social significance. While this may seem obvious, building trust and cooperative relationships with others is the first step toward creating a safer, more supportive society. The research team stated, 'The small step of talking to a stranger may be an important key to reconnecting a divided society.'